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Dear Diary/weblog/ piece of cyber space whatever...well I never kept a diary before, It has been a few days since I actually wrote anything here.It has been a strange few days, I have been frantic with getting some more work done on my thesis, and finally got a piece to supervisor last week, I was meant to send her another but unfortunately due to circumstance (which I have previously mention below didn't manage it. I did have a meeting with her yesterday, (I always dread these meetings, I am always waiting for her to tell me I am no good, that it was all a big joke... lol still can't believe I am doing a PhD.... Dr shullie... lol) well meeting went well; she is pleased with the work I have done and the amount. so okay there. though still have to get loads of stuff in for the annual review by this weekend so have a busy few nights.life it's self has been good, feel less depressed that I have for a long time; L says it's because I have done some work. he says I am always better when I have managed to write.though there was an incident on the bus last week that really upset me. as I got on the bus from work, there was a young couple sat at the back, she was obviously in distress. he was screaming at her, and he spat in her face. the only seat was just across form them, and another young woman, who was heavily pregnant ask if she could sit with me as she was scared. she was shaking. the bus was full of men of various ages, but they all just sat there as this guy continued to scream abuse at this girl. she was or had been it seemed a girlfriend, who had now told him that they were finished. I wanted to stand up and scream at the guy, but the pregnant woman was say between us. I asked her if she would like to sit at the window she said no, I think she wanted a quick get away if the guy started to lash out. I could feel my self getting angrier and angrier. I have to mention I have actually stopped fights and arguments on busses before, luckily not getting injured myself. however I had promised my son, who is terrified of me getting stabbed [he is 18 and very street wise]that I would not do it again. I tried to make eye contact with the other passages, to perhaps see if they (as I said the majority were men) would stand up etc... none of them did. The bus driver just continued to drive even when the guy banged the girls head against the window. Only 1 guy looked round, he made a gesture to another guy sitting opposite him to help but he replied that it wasn't any of his business, in other words no.I felt hopeless, angry, sad, scared, sick, that I couldn't do anything, and that no one else would. I felt a coward. I got of the bus before the couple did; the driver turned his head away as we got of the bus not wanting to acknowledge anyone. I was shaking when I got home.on a lighter notewe did have a few strange calls the other night. some guy rang us on the mobile, the number had been given as a contact number when we ran an evening munch, but to be honest no body had used it. L answered, and this guy was asking about munches, L explained we didn't run one anymore and tried to give him the information, web site etc as to where he could find more info re the area. L said they guy sounded odd, but bless him, he was clam and patient (as always) and explained again and again to the guy who and where to look. so we went to bed, at 1.45am the mobile rang again... same guy, not drunk (or not obviously) asking L is he was into Rubber and latex, etc... L being the good guy he is, didn't as I wanted to do tell the guy to F**k off calmly explained that we didn't run munches anymore, that we didn't know anyone who the guy could get in touch with at that particular time, or any clubs that he could go to.. etc etc...BlessL is a saint, and not just for putting up with me, and the kids....though I can't help but think it may have been a wind up... me suspicious... u bet... trust these days is a big and I mean BIG issue for me well think we will have a busy weekend, friends moving up, we have a picnic we have been invited too, and a BBQ, thank goodness its bank holiday, just hope the weather stays fine.